Temporarily, the Narc may agree with you on a subject – gaining your trust and forming a false sense of understanding between the two of you.
Then, without warning they will change it all up, and bait you… usually when you least expect it.
By baiting you, I mean: they will say something that is meant to provoke a strong emotional reaction from you. And, when you react in the way they expected… angry, confused, etc… they use this as proof of your mental instability. Calling you crazy.
The bait will be a topic that matters very much to you. They’re experts at studying people’s weaknesses and will shoot straight for the heart.
You will be totally caught off guard, but try to just breathe, go for a walk, and if they’re blowing up your phone or email…get away from your devices.
Remind yourself that your strong reaction is not because you’re crazy, or over-sensitive. It’s the fact that you’re a caring, empathic, loving person that they chose to target you.
Breathe. Ground yourself. Get centered. You were just attacked by a miserable, loveless person.
They want you to obsess over how unfair it is, or to engage them back and forth in a circular argument where nothing you say will EVER change their mind, because they are convinced they’re right no matter what.
There is no reason to explain your different viewpoint on anything to them. But, I know how hard it is to hold back from sending those texts or emails or calling them explaining the solid concrete evidence you have to defend your stance.
You may think… this right here, they can’t possibly deny this fact.
But, yes. They will continue to play dumb. If it means you proving them wrong. In the end they will just drain your time and energy – what they wanted all along. To get their Narcissistic Needs met.
The Narcissistic Energy Vampire may team up with and agree with you, for awhile. But, when their narcissistic supply is low, they will suddenly tell you that you’re being wrong, crazy and trying to create drama… When actually this is what THEY are doing. The Narc reveals all of their hidden intentions if you just listen to the bizarre accusations they throw at you. Once you get past how damn immature and annoying this deflection tactic is, it can almost become quite comical, and most of all, revealing.