This can happen when a person identifies with the role of the Eternal Victim – they expect to keep repeating the same painful situations, no matter what; always ending up in the ‘wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.’ They believe that their life is essentially cursed, unfair, or unworthy of anything different… or at least, many that I’ve known appear to operate from this viewpoint.
From what I’ve researched and observed, the False Self (Ego’s defense system) loves to attach to any role that justifies and attracts more pain. The internal belief system of a person can get hijacked by the Ego’s defenses.
This is how personality-disorders (such as NPD, BPD and Sociopathy) are created.
Those toxic, abusive people were once innocent victims who had no healthy coping skills to manage the pain or loneliness.
The trauma or neglect that they experienced was so intense, they split off from their True Self. In the beginning, when they split off and detached from who they truly were, it may have only lasted for a few days.
But, after repeated traumas or neglect, the separation of the True Self became permanent (or semi-permanent) -leaving them unable to regenerate their Life Force energy on their own, by connecting with the internal Source attached to the True Self.
So, they became Energy Vampires, creating unnecessary problems to emotionally bait and feed on their victim’s Life Source – in a destructive, forceful way.
This is a strategy of the parasitic, desperate False Self. It is not self-sustainable, so it must feed off of others, at a painful cost to the target.
Parents do it to their children, children to parents, teachers to students, bosses to their employees, many “troll” online, etc.
I speak from personal experience, as I used to be an Eternal Victim, Narcissist, and an Energy Vampire. It took hitting rock bottom over and over again (hundreds of times) until I finally took a good look within myself. And said… something isn’t right.
Though, I had no clue what was wrong, at first – until I learned about meditation (Self Awareness), and something finally clicked!
I was baffled that no one had ever taught me these coping skills in my whole life! All I had observed and copied from my family and friends was how to forcefully take others’ energy by creating drama – not regenerate my Life Force naturally!
Starting this new journey felt like a rebirth; a sense of coming Home.
“Now I’m definitely a weird, crazy person.” I joked.
After being told most of my life, by my parents, that something was really wrong with me (projecting their problems onto me that they didn’t want to own up to), I finally saw what was actually wrong… I didn’t love and accept myself.
A big step for a self-absorbed ego-driven person is to simply admit they have a problem. Few get help that they need, because owning up to their False Self’s inflated existence is terrifying at first.
It’s almost like the False Self becomes a living thing and fights against its own annihilation. Creepy!
I had built a thick shell to protect that part of me from experiencing reality. First, I had to face my inner demons and accept them (acceptance starves them of their “energetic nourishment” a.k.a. Resistance, Denial, Projection) just to meet my True Self – who greeted me with open arms of Unconditional Love. A “returning home” kind of feeling.
I still am dealing with old triggers, but it’s getting so much easier to get back on track, by being Aware of my reactions and discovering the root of the pain…Then, accepting it and healing.
When you Self Reflect instead of Project onto others, awesomeness is sure to follow. Guaranteed. 100%. It NEVER fails.
I have about 10 minute segments throughout the day where I check in with myself. In the busyness of the day, sometimes we need to just stop, and see how we are feeling.
What thoughts are bouncing around the mindscape?
Is there something bothering me that I haven’t healed or acknowledged yet?
If so, writing about it on paper is very helpful to get it out and away from you, so you can “see” the situation from a “higher perspective.” Also, talking to a trusted friend or partner can help.
Anyone can heal, but they have to decide that’s what they want. And, by beginning to heal, it takes recognizing where one has gone wrong… addictions, codependency, running from their Self, etc.
This is serious work, and it can get very uncomfortable. But, the reward is true inner joy and a whole array of emotions and feelings that are beautiful and sensational. I promise!
Some people never want to step foot outside of their comfort zone. That’s when a person becomes very closed-minded, stagnant, and trapped in misery – of their own making. Yet, they don’t know they have a choice.
When the victim becomes self-aware and empowered, everything changes. The cycle begins to break. Old, outdated patterns stop emerging.
An empowered victim evolves into an Awakened Human – able to learn from the past or present abuse, and move forward. The person is finally able to cultivate – from within – the love they never had. Shedding codependency. Attracting healthy relationships.
First, the victim has to realize that the abuse was not their fault, and this is hard to realize when the attacks were mostly psychological.
A major part of mental and emotional abuse is getting the target to believe they deserve the abuse, or that it never actually happened – that they are “inventing things up in their warped mind.” This is a severe form of abuse, even if there was no physical or sexual assault. It is the most covert.
I experienced this from several family members, and ex-partners, for most of my life until I became self aware, and educated on personality disorders/energy vampires.
If the victim never becomes self aware, they are likely to turn into the ones who abused them.
What You Don’t Know
Can Hurt You…